This is probably all too common and is my daily struggle in life. I have what I’d consider quite an unhealthy relationship with my phone in that it is always in my hand, in fact it’s the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see when I wake up, it actually sleeps on the pillow next to me. Yes I can see the frowns emerging on faces, the ‘L’ shapes being made with hands and general concerns over my radiation levels, but I’m all about the honesty, it is what it is.
But as much as I am always with my phone, the use has to be on my terms. The only time I hear my phone is when my alarm goes off as it is always on silence, after all if it’s always in my hand then why would it need to make any noise? I may even mute the odd whatsapp group if it’s causing too much traffic on my phone or just put it on airplane mode to cut out the interference all together and just listen to music. I went out with a guy once who said, “It’s my phone, I’ll pick it up when I want.” Suffice to say this relationship didn’t last very long but that was probably the most memorable and valuable thing he ever said to me (that I can remember)!!!
So now that we have established I’m a self professed phone junky who doesn’t like my phone sounding off, lets get to the real issue. I see phone calls like I see uninvited visitors, if I’m not expecting your call or have nothing to really say to you then I may just accidentally miss it. Now please, please, please, do not take it personal, it’s not you, it’s me, and there are so many reasons why this might happen, and so it goes:
I just want to message: If we are having a perfectly flowing whatsapp conversation, there is no need for you to call me especially when “Jacqui is typing…” the whole point of messaging is to avoid the vocals, you can’t just change the mode like that, it’s vey inconsiderate and may lead to you being very offended. I may even cut the call just to resume my typing… and yes that has been done before.
I’ve just got off the phone to someone else: On the rare occasion that I do engage in a verbal with someone who probably had the good sense to pre arrange a call, I certainly am not going round 2 with anyone else, my recovery time is very important and I’m sure I probably missed some interesting posts on my social media as a result of the first conversation and so will have to be scrolling for longer than intended. All very inconvenient.
I’m watching my shows: It’s so hard to get to the box these days for whatever reason be it the show is inappropriate for daytime viewing, my son got there first or I’m simply not in the TV watching mood. So when his moment does arrive I’d just like to ride the wave uninterrupted. There’s something very unsettling about seeing an image paused for more than 20 minutes on the screen, so much so that I unpause and repause just to change the frame.
So many other important calls to make: So if I haven’t made that call to I don’t know, book my MOT or missed someone else’s call, then I’m going to have that procrastination guilt, and so if I engage in a conversation with someone else then my excuse about having no time becomes invalid and just makes me feel even worse, so to save my soul, no one gets any phone time love.
I’ve already missed your call: If you have already called me and I haven’t called you back, then you call me again, I’m going to assume that you are calling to give me a piece of your mind. As I am a non-confrontational personal, I’d just miss that call too to justify missing the first, then call you back later apologising profusely and explaining how the days just been…so crazy! That was a mouth full right?
I smell a rat!: I have actually been set up where I’ve missed an uncles call so he’s called me from another uncles phone and I’ve picked up… And well I’m truly caught bang to rights!!!! School girl error, say no to trickery!!!
I know I’m in the wrong: I simply need more time, if I know you’re calling to come at me and I’m not ready…I need more time to construct a well rounded argument and of course give the aggrieved more time to feel…well less aggrieved.
I don’t think so!: This is the exception to the ‘not to take it personal statement’. If you said you were going to call me at a certain time and I’ve since seen the sun set, rise and probably set again. With not so much as an explanation…You missed your window! Sorry!
Luckily, I have many friends on the same wavelength as me but there is always that one who enjoys making you suffer and calls. And then of course there are the international callers who make you throw your head back, blink, cry and then bite the bullet. When I hear the house phone ring it alters my breathing pattern and sends me into a state of instant upset. It’s like playing Russian Roulette with every under the breath ‘Hello!’ which is usually interrupted by an automated PPI message.
As a result the house phone does not get answered before 6pm, when I strategically dodge a callI I know not to go onto whatsapp and show as online because I know they are looking! (Emoji eyes.) I know this may have all sounded pretty extreme to you but it is the secret to my happiness and long lasting relationships with people. Once they know this it makes for all round happiness!!!
WHAT THE PEOPE SAY:
How would you describe your phone etiquette In terms of contact and making contact?
“I’d say I’m more of a message me don’t call me type of person”
“If someone’s ringing my phone and I’m not busy or about to do something I’ll answer, if not I’ll call back later. Texting is all good, cause it’s more convenient but if it’s important and there’s a lot to be said I’ll call but if it’s just chit chat and banter then generally whatsapp.”
“I respond in adequate time, communicating with people based on what’s suitable for both of you. I naturally communicate by text but I understand that people need a call so I adapt”
“I’d say I’m really good. Will always try to respond to people’s messages. Sometimes I think I may be too available. Emails though I’m the opposite, really bad at responding’
Next Blog: “Sometimes I just don’t want to…”#5 Blog